Two Decades And A Year

I am poisoned... and blessed by this one life.
One & short.
How can one commit to one path?
How can you commit to one goal?
Financial security, family, and a home.
Does it not seem dreadful?
I fear this cycle... like a hell to be relived over and over
If I were to be reincarnated as another soul in the States.
It is beautiful, there is no doubt about that in my mind.
The services of Cesar are plentiful here, and because of this
I am here... talking to you now.
But I venture elsewhere...
In warm Brazil,
In humid Hawaii,
In vivacious Venice,
And I hear the waves of the world beckoning me leave this safety.
All my life I have lived in concern and worry...
in the end, will I die happy? Staying here? Rotting here?
Two decades and a year... I am happy knowing this.
Two decades and only a year.
Young elites and few fortunates have lived many adventures in such short time
due to the financial splendors of their progenitors.
Envy does not reach me... only wishful thinking.
I give thanks to the happenings that will be.
So thank you, Harley
Thank you, half-pipe
Thank you, mojitos
Thank you, bikinis
Thank you, clouds below me
Thank you, epinephrine
Thank you, good deeds done dirt cheap
Thank you, six-string friend
Thank you, kick to the chest
Thank you, backflip
Thank you, love of my life
Thank you.
Two decades and a year...
and forever to go.

The Path

I'm not too sure, but I'm more than half way

I wanna get there, but I get better every day

They say " you gotta believe in what you pray"

But it's a little hard when it doesn't go my way

It don't matter, I'll just keep on push'n

I'll put my part in, and he'll keep on loving

His Grace is Glory, and I know His stories

Maybe not all of them, but he knows I'm sorry

Sometimes, I had enough of myself

Expecting his love, I got fed-up with myself

Sin-on, Sin-off, that ain't good for my health

Can't get past him, you ain't playing no stealth

Challenges, cliffs, and mountains to overcome

Where faith be fighting science, it's got me feeling so dumb

Criminals, despicables, and demons- they run

From His light, illuminated by the blood of His Son

He's got my back, and I got His, that's the least I could do

I'll be walking on His path, like You-Know-Who

Well, I'm not exactly him, heck I'm far from that

Everybody knows it's so hard to do,

Not impossible, you could do it, too

The only question is "what are you willing to risk"?

Pointing to the cross, "can you end up like this"?

My Lady God

She has always loved me... even before I came into existence

She has guided me in the dark, even when I showed Her resistance

She has given me strength, despite my works in weakness

And though fear has rendered me still at times

The Lady has strengthened me to withstand the demons

It is true, that I have hurt Her before...

By both my actions and words

I have broken Her heart... yet She still warmed mine

And though I've walked away before, She waited with arms wide open in the sands of time

Always there, always loving, always present

And though She cannot speak, She is most definitely not mute

Respect, love, and even fear She deserves

My life is completely Hers

I don't want to be the reason She cries

I don't want to be the reason Her Son died

But I am

Now... I want to bring a smile to Her Glorious Face

And I don't want to cause pain

To Her or the rest of Her creations

And though I may not be perfect

I will try to be, and not to avoid damnation

But to provide exhilaration, love, laughter, and joy

Even if She decides to test me in a strange enemy filled fog

I will love Her... my Lovely Lady God.

P.S. to my true love. I love you, I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I will do better. I'll bring the chocolate and roses later on.

The Balance and the Calm

I look at you and I smile,
for you are just like me.
You are just like everyone one else...
who has the ability to love...
to hate...
to be hurt...
and to defend thyself.
Though, there is one characteristic
that I do admit is rather sour.
And that is your ability to contort & deform your fear,
into a collective power.
Like the long dead Fuer, marred by the world,
he gathered dreading minds and similar thoughts
into a missile of spite and lunatical froth.
You seek not the halcyonic waves of empathy
to tread your boat of unity,
but rather, you take the tides of social coercion
in hopes of controlling the random ripples of life.
Honey over vinegar catches the flies;
Somehow, that saying passed you by.
I would like to let you know, that I am as fragile too.
We were made from the same sand (you and I),
but my fires were different in my ascent to glass.
You are beautiful.
You are intelligent.
You are wanted.
You are worthy.
You are strong.
You are good enough for any crystal collector.
And if sonic darkness or life's quakes shall try to
break your gleam,
Shine with the love and the light that you have obtained,
and be better than what has been presented
to overcome that insecurity.
Be not rash or hard headed.
Be not rabid or quick tempered,
but practice the Balance and the Calm.
It is not too late to have it be done.
I believe in you, as others have believed in me.

Blood, Bone, and Soul

Even though we have never met, I miss you.

I long for you the way the earth longs for warmth in the winter.

Blistered are my lips from this weather,

I contemplate if there is something far from deader.

They say you will find me... all I have to do is wait.

Eternal, it seems, that time comes to pass.

How shall I spot you?

What makes you different... or what will make you different?

Not another petticoat that passed my palm.

Not another pair of lips that I have merely grazed.

What will define you from the rest of the gentlewomen?

Your body? Your voice? Your spirit & virtue?

Every single one of these mention that they are different...

That they are unique and unlike the other squaws.

Perhaps they truly believe this-

But they truly are different... to a certain point.

Maybe the sign I'm waiting for... is no sign at all.

You will not say that you are different.

You will not say that you are unique.

Nor will you say that you are the same

or straight off the assembly line.

I assume that your actions shall do the talking.

As well as your tender words.

Like a match of chess, I will have to calculate my move.

Will that deter you... my calculations.

What if I was bold and brazen?

Shall that overwhelm you?

Everything is concealed in a fog of uncertainty at this moment in time.

Not blindness, but an outline of things I do bear.

I think the answer to my dilemma is...

I'll work with what I have to find you... or wait for you.

And I will use what I shall acquire to be with you.

You will be the one who accepts me... blood, bone, and soul.

I will do the same.

And we will be one when I have aided you in your goals... and you have aided me in mine.

That is how I will know.

Muscle

Everything is a muscle. Not just your biceps or triceps, but I mean the brain... the brain chemistry, the cognitive ways of thinking, including pattern recognition. This is an amazing gift that we have been given... or something that we might have just evolved into. Many will agree with the latter end of the last sentence.

Pain is welcome in my house, only so that I may evolve into a stronger individual. I'll savor the moments when I'm bathing in the positive energies so that I may relax to catch the next wave of ass-whoopings that life has to offer me. I mean, sure, it drags for a while... you might even say it sucks a whole assortment of different ass, but in the end... we grow that muscle. Whether it be emotional, short term memory, long term memory, stamina, tissue, tolerance... these are just some of the goodies in the benefit bag of "hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and headaches".

There are ways to cope with the pain. Meditation could serve as a pain killer... just like a real pharmaceutical product. There have been tests that show that prayer and meditation raise the levels of serotonin (promotes feelings of well being) and dopamine (pleasure). Mix that with a bit of exercise, a healthy diet, good sleep, and positive social networks, and your face should be sporting a smile as big as the Cheshire Cat (that creepy thing from Alice in Wonderland).

Keep on rolling with those punches though. If you fall of the horse, you can either shoot it or get back on. I prefer you get back on... I like horses. I'm not big on mules. If you fall off a mule you can shoot that.

But anyways. That's my rant for the day. Till next time Ravens.

p.s.- God is good... all the time. All the time... God is good. Just ask, and then give back any way you can (I'm not talking about money, just pay it forward).

Fall-mance

Romance seems to be dying out... well, it seems that way for the broke-ass college student. Whatever happened to a bouquet of roses being less than 60 bucks.

Is poetry corny... psh yeah, in an awesome kind of way! Try and be original is what I say. Sure, you can go off with Frost, Whitman, or Shakes, but when it flows out the top of your dome, be sure not to focus on how it came out. It is an art form, so let it flow. Rhyme like the love-thug you are. Represent!

I'm an old school kind of guy. Dinner, movie, parks, local spots, grassy lawns, star gazing, and if I'm up for it, a bit of dancing... but relaxing is more of my forte. Swimming is pretty romantic too... that is if the frat dudes aren't doing keg-stands nearby. Ah those crazy bro's, God bless them.

Grocery shopping, mall shopping... any type of shopping is still pretty good in my book... just check the account before you start buying things like billionaire Bruce Wayne. Oh, and if you can pull it off without looking so damn obvious, open doors and pull seats. You know what... just don't do it. Be mysterious, like a love ninja.

Hit the gym every now and then. If you have time to sit down and watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother ( great show by the way), then you can spend some time on the treadmill or the weight area.

Fall is such a good time for all of this. The air is fresh, right before the big holidays. If you don't have anyone special, spend some time with your friends. Be romantic with them... unless they're going to tease and make fun of you for bringing wine to watch the game. Don't risk it my friends. Stick with beer, chips, and dip.

Oh, and dress well. Dress to impress people. Don't go to far out there, though. If you are going to your girlfriend's nephew's 8th birthday party, leave the DKNY suit, and go with something a bit more laxed. You don't want the family to think your an even bigger scumbag. I swear, you forget to cancel the exotic dancer once and they'll have it over your head forever! Man, I wish my 8th b-day party was like that... THEY SHOULD BE THANKING ME!... anyways, I digress.

Well, those are some tips I have for romance in the Fall. Love life ya'll.

P.S.- Restraining orders are probably a good sign that you should move one. It should be obvious to most people, but you'd be surprised. I mean, Wow.... you know. Till next time my ravens.