In New Lands

Comfort comes from all sorts of places in our lives. Some people delve in drugs to get away from reality. Food never judges. Dreams in sleep temporarily take us away from this world. Many of us get carried away by all this and completely ignore the fact that excess amount of any of these comforts may potentially be harmful.

It takes more energy to leave the comfortable than to be swept away by it. The same can be said about relationships, or the lack of one. Solitude for an individual is comforting in a time of "storm and stress", the life stage where uncertainty and growth take place. As emotional creatures, we seek happiness wherever it may be found, and avoid pain as much as possible. Our brains are capable of mapping out certain situations that we have experienced before so that we may welcome the good ones with open arms, and repel the negative ones with extreme conviction. Sadly, this survival mechanism that we have implanted in our being can morph into something sinister if left unchecked. Fear. Stagnation. Painful routines... all for the comfort of what we already know... of what we are already used to.

"No pain, no gain". True... true for almost everything. Unfortunately, there are a handful of confused individuals who fall for the same person, in the same situation, in the same geography (or not). And for some strange reason, they see the same signs, they feel the same pain, and feel the same trauma as before. Two things can happen afterwords. - Usually after morning the relationship and most of the numbness has subsided, one can find another person of the same character type with minor differences, or they can go for someone completely new, which can be twice as frightening. Like a bad game of poker, there is almost no way of knowing what the other person is holding in their palms. The anxiety can be unbearable.

Though, what is love without risks? What is life without risks for that matter? One might be comfortable knowing the pattern, but even if there isn't a higher level of love, there is great possibility in taking a risk. Just acknowledging the fact that life will most certainly have its ups and downs, one can enjoy the "up" of a new relationship with someone who is completely different from previous personalities, and learn from the "downs" that may appear. Though it might be uncomfortable at first, being in new lands may bring prosperity and joy down the road. One can nurture the exotic land into something more comforting, much like redecorating the the interior of a house with one's personality while still maintaining the true essence and structure of the home.

Be warned. It takes time, energy, pain, attention, and much emotional, psychological, and spiritual effort to truly be happy. The contradiction of this statement is obvious, but remember that life in itself is one giant contradiction as well. We are born, only to die. So we love, only to face the certainty of pain. Enjoy the "ups" in these new lands... try not to focus on the steep hills. For not knowing, temporary uncomfort, and new experiences can be some of the most exciting times one can have in this lifetime.